Pretending
by dontblameme-igrewupontv
Summary: "I never liked getting drunk, letting my guard down, and acting sloppy and stupid, but sometimes I like pretending." Jade/Cat


A/N: Just a one shot that I decided to write instead of sleep, while listening to way to much Ne-Yo. This quick ficlet developed as I wrote it, so any faults you find in it, you can blame on that. :) I'd love to hear what you guys think of it though, so leave me some feedback!

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I'm not drunk.

I never liked getting drunk, letting my guard down, and acting sloppy and stupid. Like the way Tori is singing off key and dancing awkwardly with Andre. The way Beck is trying to fornicate with me on the bed in his R.V.

But sometimes I like pretending.

So I've been nursing the same Mike's all night, and took a few fake swigs of Yager. I'm giggling and pushing him away, and acting just silly enough so everyone thinks I'm tipsy. So I don't have to be snarky and sarcastic all the time, and the muscle in my eyebrow can rest. When Beck has these little drinking parties, I like pretending.

Cat is drunk.

And I'm pretty sure, with the way she's been spinning with her arms out in the middle of the R.V., there's puking in her future. She's a lightweight, all small and innocent, and Beck knows that. But he's shifting away from me and the bed, grabbing a bottle off the floor and going over to her, hands gently steading her shoulders. Her cheeks almost match her hair, flushed and bright, breathing heavy as he puts the bottle up to her lips.

I'm not cleaning up her puke.

Tori's loud laugh bounces off the metal walls, and it makes me roll my eyes at her, watching the playful and friendly dance-wrestling that Andre's trying to fake losing. It makes a smile start to creep over my features, remembering that not everything Tori does right now has to be annoying. But it's short lived, hearing Beck's voice talking to Cat.

"Slow and steady, Kittie."

My eyes narrow at him as his hand brushes stray locks behind her ear. His hand lingers on the back of her neck as she takes another drink of clear liquid.

"How 'bout slow and down." I retort to them, a little snippy, but he just throws a smile over his shoulder. Then the bottle leaves her hands and goes up to his mouth, tilting up and down quick.

Beck always gets flirty when he's drunk, and I always pretend that I don't care. And I don't, not really, because at least it's Cat and not Tori. I'm never jealous when it comes to the red head, because I've known her long enough to know that she doesn't want Beck. She never let her eyes linger, or flirted, or stood too close to him.

Except for right now.

She's giggling and poking at his chest, while his arm swings over her shoulder.

But I'm not jealous of Cat.

"You're boyfriend's skinny." She says to me, but her eyes stay on him, and he starts laughing like it was hilarious, so I throw a smile her away when she moves her glossy gaze over to me.

"You're short, Kittie." And I really wish he'd stop calling her that, because he only does when we drink and there's suggestiveness in it that I don't like. Because she's small and innocent, and suggestive nicknames don't fit her. Because she never notices, even now as his hands idly move through her hair she's ignoring him, taking the bottle out of his hands, pulling away, and moving over the bed that I'm sitting on. My legs are stretched out, and my back against the wall, so she takes it as an invitation to crawl up to me like kid, bouncing and stumbling, smiles and smiles. She hands the bottle over to me.

"Why aren't you drinking?" I take her inebriated gift with a grin I make as lopsided as possible.

"I've been drinking."

My throat burns as I pour what I assume is vodka into my mouth and swallow. A heat spread through me and I pretend that I'm not ready to go into a coughing fit.

When my eyes open from the tortured expression on my face caused by the drink, I see she's closer, staring at me like I'm some kind of freakin' amazing. It makes a pressure build up in my chest, but that could be the alcohol coming back up.

"What?" A weak cough escapes me when I try to talk, my voice rough.

"What's it taste like?" I suppress the urge to roll my eyes, because she was drinking it, like, two seconds ago. But I pretend that her pointless questions don't bother me, and when I do, my eyes fall on her bottom lip as her teeth grab and bite at it. The pressure in my chest isn't going away.

"Like poison." Is my response, without thinking, focusing on the way her mouth is moving. It makes me take another swig of whatever horrible thing that's in this bottle, because I need something to distract me, and break my focus on her.

More heat, more pressure, and now my brain's starting to swim a little.

"Like Romeo and Juliet?" She's giggling when she says it, and it makes me smile, sides lopping on their own accord. Cat takes the bottle away, much to my relief, and rests it against some pillows behind her. That's probably going to spill. I look over and see Beck and Andre watching something on the computer, while Tori indecisively flips through the songs on my iPod playlist.

My observations are interrupted when Cat swings her leg over mine and straddles me with a broad smile.

Cat always gets flirty when she's drunk, and this is always the part where I tell her she's had enough and go pick up some McDonalds, and she eats her happy meal and passes out. So, I sit up off the wall, and move to push her off, but the sudden movement makes the room spin a little. Then she's getting a stronger grip on my hips, her arms sliding around my neck.

Damn it.

She's in my space and consuming it, marking her name all over it. I can't even take a breath without something low in my stomach tightening.

Her head dips down to my ear, lips against my ear, whispering.

"Like Romeo and Juliet."

I hold back a moan by biting the inside of my cheeks, feeling heat move to my cheeks.

Damn it, it's just drunk Cat and me faking it, just pretending like this is what we do when we drink. But we don't, we're not kissing friends, and there's a reason for that. But I'm making the very stupid decision to pretend that the reason doesn't exist.

Her lips skim over my cheek and catch on mine, kissing me.

I hold my breath and don't react, while she adds more pressure and tilts her head.

It's just pretend. We're drunk and this is what we do when we drink.

Sighing into her lips, I start pushing and kissing back. She opens her mouth to me slowly, letting me run my tongue past her teeth and tasting alcohol and sugar. It's sweet and amazing, and when she moans into my mouth, my fingers find her hips. I start pulling her against me gently, wanting her closer than physically possible. She's twisting against my mouth, pulling my lower lip between hers and sucking gently, causing me to moan against her.

When she pulls away, I'm breathing ragged and rough, matching her. There's like a haze around us, like a dream, and all I can see is red and brown and she licks her lips like she wants to keep my taste on her tongue. She's telling me that I have pretty eyes, and it's almost perfect enough to make me want to live here with her forever.

But then I feel a weight push down on the mattress, and the illusion is shattered. I pull away from her and see him scoot up on the bed next to us, and Tori and Andre are trying not to smile and pretending like they're not watching us.

And suddenly it's like a nightmare, where everyone's staring and whispering, and it doesn't matter how close I stay to Beck, they still know all my secrets.

This is why I don't drink, because then I stop pretending.

Beck leans toward me, catching me by surprise by kissing me. I let him out of habit, but he doesn't taste anything like her, and I miss Cat's lips already. Her fingers start playing with the hairs on the nape of my neck, making me shiver a little when he pulls away, and she's not making any move to get off my lap.

Something like sheer panic runs through me when he moves his lips from mine to Cat's neck, and she just lets him, tilting her head to the side a little. But her eyes stay locked on mine, searching and serious, and my chest hurts when I see her eyes flutter a little and lips part slightly.

Damn it. Damn him.

Then he's pulling away slightly and kissing her. She's kissing him back too, and it's not like they've never kissed before. They have, for plays or short films, but that's always been acting and it didn't count. This counts.

I'm not jealous of Cat, but I'm starting to get very jealous of Beck.

He's moving too hard and fast against her mouth, and it was better when it was just her and me. So much better. She pulls away from him first, and he doesn't waste time to move back to me, but I jerk away from his lips when he does.

"What are you doing?" I whisper, even though I know exactly what he's doing and it's making me feel sick, and Cat's starting to look nervous.

"I just want to see you two kiss again." He's whispering in my ear, and Tori and Andre make quiet and uncomfortable announcements that they're going to leave.

I won't kiss her again, not like this. I shrug him away from me and pull Cat off of me to stand.

"I'm leaving." I announce, because I didn't want this, there's reasons why I pretend and I was stupid to think there wasn't.

Beck's trying to pull me back, but I'm pushing him away and grabbing my keys and coat.

"Jade." She calls out, and everyone's staring at me like nightmares, where I have to keep walking and she disappears like smoke. "Don't go."

Her voice is all small and innocent, and I sigh loudly out of frustration, turning around to face her, seeing her standing next to the bed.

Just like smoke, it's the same, over and over.

Fuck it.

"Come with me." I say, not looking at anything but her.

I'm tired of pretending.

She smiles at me.

"Kay kay."

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End file.
